As I mentioned in my last post the beautiful, big country house we used to live in, I’m now going to talk about how things are in the present day.
I live with my daughter in a small apartment for good reason. I left that house, which I paid half of the mortgage for, when the abuse became unbearable.
My partner kept refusing to sell the house which I had poured years of money and love into throughout the time we were together. Eventually, he agreed that we should sell it. However, it had to be through an auctioneer/ estate agent that he approved of, and he said repeatedly that he would not accept a penny below the asking price. As soon as we had an offer from a cash buyer at the asking price, he marched into the auctioneers and told them that he was taking it off the market and that their services were no longer required. He didn’t even bother to tell me that he was going to do this.
He then proceeded to put the house up for sale with another auctioneer/ estate agent which he chose. I suggested other auctioneers but he said it was his decision and as usual, that he wouldn’t take a penny below the asking price. I had no choice than to agree.
When we had a new offer, from cash buyers for the full asking price who had booked a survey, within a couple of days he WhatsApp’d me to say he was taking it off the market again. Bear in mind that everything was on his terms and always what he wanted.
I was on my way to hospital one morning to see a consultant and was terrified of what I might hear. Throughout the journey (my daughter was driving) he was badgering me to take €80,000 so that he could buy me out of the house which would leave him with €200,000 equity. I begged him to leave me alone as I had an important hospital appointment, but he just kept badgering me all the way.
At the hospital, I was told that the surgeon would meet with his colleagues to try to come up with a solution to save my right foot, but that it may need to be amputated. I was in complete shock all the way home but my ex-partner continued to badger me non-stop. I told him what I’d just been through, but there was no reaction, no ‘I’m sorry’, no nothing. He just kept pressuring me to take €80,000 as he said I had only paid a small percentage of the mortgage, when in actual fact I had paid half of it until I had a catastrophic fall last May. Even when I moved in with my daughter, I had to pay rent, and still do.
The second auctioneer rang me to tell me that my partner had sent them an email to say that he was taking the house off the market. This was the second auctioneer of ‘his choice’ who he had agreed to sell the house through. Both auctioneers (who are very reputable in the area) telephoned me and said they would never deal with him again. All I could do was apologise, but they said they knew it wasn’t down to me and were very kind and considerate towards me.
So that’s where things stand to this day. My ex-partner is still living in that huge house and has refused to let me anywhere near it, even though it is half mine. I am living in this small apartment, which makes it very hard for me to get in and out of, due to the four flights of stairs to access or leave it.
I am having to sell my car to try and get the money together for a ‘Forced Sale’ which will cost approximately €20-25,000 and take 3 years before going to court. This is my only option however, as he constantly moves the goal posts. I can’t trust a word that comes out of his mouth. He lies the way most people tell the truth. It sickens me to know that he is living in my house and won’t allow me anywhere near it. I need to practice walking every day and it would be so much easier if I could do it in what was, and still is legally my own home. He’s always been very arrogant, but he has no compassion or humanity. So much for ‘love conquering all’. That only works if there are two people who genuinely care about each other.
I’m writing a ‘living will’, so that even if I’m no longer here after this three year nightmare, my two daughters will at least have some help towards their futures.
I told him that I don’t give in to bullies. I learnt that the hard way when I was younger. But now I will NEVER give in to his particular brand of bullying. While I have breath in my body, I will never give in to his demands. I’ve found a strength within me that I never knew I had, but this is too much to take. I will never stop fighting for what is rightfully mine.
I don’t think I will ever trust a man again because of this.
I’m just so sorry I spent so many years trying to make everything better. A control freak is torture. ‘NEVER allow them to fool you into believing anything else.’
Drag Me Down Blog 