My life has been very tough. A lot of violence and being sexually abused when I was a child made it hard to get through. But somehow, I always found the strength.
Here is the story of more recent events, which decimated my life in a way I never thought possible. You’ll find weekly accounts documenting what it was like to live with a narcissistic sociopath. Please share this far and wide with everyone you know! I’ve always been a very private person, but now is the time to open up! Even if it only serves to help one person, then it will have been worthwhile.
If it only comes as a warning to others, then it still counts… So here goes…
Prologue
It started the way they all do. I was put on a pedestal of adoration, only to be dragged down from it in every way imaginable. If only I saw then what I know now. Red flags?! O.M.G. It was full of them! Little did I know I was dealing with a narcissistic sociopath.
I hated him in Uni! I mean really hated him. He was married but he was constantly unfaithful to his wife. I hated everything he was and his behaviour was so extreme, even then.
I had gone back to uni as a mature student at 24 years and had a 15 month old daughter to care for. She was and still is “my guiding light”.
I was in the same group of friends as him though, so I was forced to tolerate him whenever he was around.
Towards the end of Uni, he began to deal drugs to other students and I completely cut ties with him.
Fast forward 15 years…
I met him again through a chance meeting in a UK pub. He seemed to have matured. I had since come back to live in my family’s home place in Ireland and was on a mini-break to the UK when we met again.
He was absolutely amazed that I looked so good and was incredibly keen to get close to me. Looking back now, it was so shallow, but when you want to believe the opposite is true, you can persuade yourself of anything.
I gave him my number and it didn’t take long before he was confessing undying love for me and said he adored me. I took work teaching in the UK and lived with him while I was there. I paid him €300 per month as rent. However, on day one I should have recognised the first red flag. His post was piled up in the hallway. His ex-girlfriend came over, accusing me and him of all sorts. I should have ended it then. But when someone is ‘gaslighting’ you and you’re not used to that, you believe what they say, which is never the truth. It was on day two that it started. He had accumulated lots of debts, which I stupidly paid off.
New blog posts will be published every Wednesday and Saturday.
Drag Me Down Blog 