I wanted to share with you today just exactly how far you will come from that dark nightmarish life you lived with your narcissistic ex, when you finally escape and begin to work on ‘yourself’, ‘your’ mental and physical health and ‘your’ happiness.
As I’ve said repeatedly, I know that it will take time, perhaps lots of time for your healing to take place. Believe me that I am not diminishing any of the pain you may be going through as I have been there and I know how terrifying and difficult it is.
Having said that however, I absolutely ‘promise’ you that your healing WILL happen if you be kind to yourself and spend time with those who really ‘do’ care about you and your feelings. Not only will you come through it, but you will be happier and stronger than ever before! You will eventually move beyond just ‘trying’ to work on yourself and you will actually be able to look back and ‘laugh’ at your ex (narc) and see them for the pathetic individuals they really are. You will no longer be ruled by their demands, criticism and control. Instead, you will be elated to have ‘found’ yourself again and you will gain a much greater appreciation for all of the beautiful things that life has to offer!
I know that my last post was about the dangers of being in a relationship with a narcissist, but mine is now on the local Garda (Irish police) radar, so if he ever came near me, I know they would be here like a shot. I also have a CCTV camera at the entrance to my home for safety. I would advise you to do the same.
If you have read my previous posts, you may have noticed that I have never once mentioned ‘hating’ my ex (narc). This is not because I care about him. It is because I don’t think it is healthy for ME to have hatred in MY heart. He ‘hates’ me and has said so many terrible things to me, that I know he is not capable of feeling any of the more complex emotions which we ‘can’ feel. I do struggle with not hating on a daily basis, but I now see the ‘emotional pygmy’ that he is, instead of the tyrant who I was ruled by for so many years. I am trying to forgive, but I will NEVER forget what he did to me. So even just that alone is a valuable lesson and something that I will never repeat again.
I have been on a few Tinder dates and the latest was quite a nice farmer who seemed very gentle and good-natured. However, on date number 6, he decided to say “I don’t want to break your heart”. I almost choked on my drink and it was all I could do not to burst out laughing. I managed to simply smile and say “Well, I can tell you right now, that is never gonna happen”.
He then proceeded to spend the rest of the night back-tracking and ended up in tears saying he didn’t want to be alone for the rest of his life.
It really was quite pathetic for me to have to comfort him all evening, because in his head, he obviously thought this wasn’t how the conversation was going to go. 😂
So when I say that you will come out stronger and happier than before, I really mean it! All I wanted to do that night was to go home and chill out.
What a lot of people don’t realise is that when you have had your heart ripped out and stamped on for many years by your ex (narc), you will have imaginary ‘red flags’ ready to pop up at any moment. Your intuition will kick in and you will never be at the mercy of someone else’s behaviour or whims again.
‘Self-preservation’ is a wonderful thing and once you have it ready to work for you, life will feel so much more than it was before. You will be free to fly without the need for any man/woman’s love or acceptance.
I want you to believe that this will happen for you because it WILL if you give ‘time’ and ‘self-care’ a chance.
You WILL enjoy life again, you really will. I promise! 😍
“When you think you’ve run over an animal
and realize it was just a Narcissist…“
Next post will be published on Saturday 22nd June!
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