I wrote today’s post to emphasise how important the advice and suggestions that I and other bloggers post about narcissistic behaviour are. We have all experienced and survived this abuse and simply want to share our experiences to support and hopefully, help you to protect yourself from these individuals.
I want to draw your attention to 3 very infamous examples of narcissistic abuse which unfortunately ended in the worst possible way for the victims involved. For every one of these famous examples, there are millions of others who have gone undetected or unnoticed. When people talk about narcissists, they often don’t realise that this disorder goes hand in hand with a cluster of personality disorders including:-
- Antisocial Personality Disorder (ASPD)
- Psychopaths
- Sociopaths
All of the above are narcissists. They are on a wide spectrum of this continuum. Some will be great leaders, some mediocre control freaks at best, some will be great warriors and others serial killers. But all of them have the capacity to do great harm to others, whether it be on a small scale or, on a much larger scale, through genocide. They do not and will NEVER have empathy which prevents us from causing deliberate harm to others.
The first of the 3 examples I want to draw upon is O.J. Simpson. As a famous American Football player and later as an actor in several well-known films, you would expect this type of fame would feed his ego sufficiently. However, he went on to commit the heinous crimes that he is now known to have been responsible for.
He was famously acquitted of the murders of Nicole Brown-Simpson (his ex-wife) and her friend Ron Goldman in 1994. Both were stabbed to death outside of Nicole’s home. O.J. emotionally, verbally and physically abused Nicole, both during and after their marriage ended.
In 1997, in a civil lawsuit, he was found liable for both deaths. However, due to his earlier acquittal, he never served any jail time for these murders.
O.J. was eventually imprisoned for 9 years on 12 counts of armed robbery and kidnapping at gunpoint in 2008.
He died at the age of 76 of cancer at his home in Las Vegas in April 2024. Nicole was just 35 years old when he stabbed her to death and never got the opportunity to see her 2 children (who O.J. was given custody of when he murdered her) grow up.
The second infamous example of just how dangerous these individuals can be is when Oscar Pistorius, the South-African Paralympian athlete (who was then seen as a National Hero) shot and killed his girlfriend, Reeva Steenkamp (a South African model) in the bathroom of his home on Valentine’s Day in 2013.
In his first trial, Oscar was found culpable of homicide and received a sentence of 5 years to be served at home due to his disabilities.
However, in December 2015, the Supreme Court of South Africa found Oscar guilty of murder and he received a sentence of 6 years, which was later increased to 13 years and 5 months.
Reeva was just 29 years old when she was shot to death by Oscar Pistorius. He is still alive and well, whilst young Reeva is lost to her family forever.
The third example of such a case is a documentary mini-series dramatized by Channel 4 in the UK and Ireland called ‘The Fall: Skydive Murder Plot’ and headlined as:-
THIS IS A TRUE STORY ABOUT A WOMAN WHO WAS SUPPOSED TO DIE.
This is the true story of Emile Cilliers and his wife Victoria. Victoria was a very experienced professional skydiver, who knew all the correct equipment and safety checks required prior to taking any jump.
Emile had previously been a soldier who served in the 29 Commando Regiment in the UK.
In 2015, Victoria made her first jump since having a baby a month earlier. On this occasion, her backpack and parachute failed to open and she plummeted 4000 feet to land in a field, at first presumed dead. When she was found to still be alive, she was rushed to hospital with life-changing injuries and it took her three years to recover from all of these.
Her husband, Emile Cilliers was proven to have tampered with her backpack and parachute deliberately, so that he could move on and collect her life insurance money and to be with his new girlfriend.
He had also previously, just a week prior to this incident caused a gas leak at their home. So, the Sky Dive was the second attempt he had made on her life within one week.
After a long, protracted case, he was found guilty of 2 counts of attempted murder and was given a life sentence (to serve a minimum of 18 years in prison).
Victoria, who was 35 years old at the time, said that all she could think of while she was falling, was how her two small children would be left without their mother.
I have not attempted to comment on or embellish any of these cases. They are shocking enough as they stand. I simply wanted to highlight just how dangerous these individuals are and what the ultimate price to pay for remaining with them could be for you. NEVER expect them to change or become better people. They cannot and will not do this. To them, in their sick and depraved minds, their actions are totally warranted and they feel no remorse or concern for their intended victims. Their only regret is to be caught out in their lies and being made to pay for their crime/s by the law.
I hardly think a few years of imprisonment bears any comparison to taking or attempting to take the life of their partner, simply to satisfy their need for revenge or their thinly veiled hatred in order to make their lives easier. They do not have the capacity to think beyond this and always presume they will be successful in achieving their goal. They do not consider taking a beautiful young life or the mother of their children to be of any significance.
In my case, I was simply lucky that when my ex (narc), who is a secondary school teacher, removed his facemask and kissed me on the lips while I was in a coma at the height of the COVID pandemic, I did not contract the virus. I would simply have been one of those deaths that go undetected and unnoticed. He would then have automatically been given the house we jointly own due to my death which would have allowed him to continue on his way unchallenged. He would have felt no remorse or compassion for my 2 daughters having been left without their mother.
Please, please NEVER underestimate the lengths your narcissistic partner/ ex-partner will go to in order to rid themselves of you once they have secured their new ‘supply’/’supplies’. You MUST put your life first. If you have children, this is even more important, so they can grow up with a parent who genuinely and deeply loves and cares for them.
Do not allow yourself to become a statistic. Choose to be a survivor! Put your safety first and ensure that the police are aware of how much danger you may be in. You may need a restraining order, but do whatever is necessary to escape this living hell BEFORE you are made to pay the ultimate price.
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