I am still awaiting the Garda investigation into the fraud committed against me by my ex after he signed my car over to himself and his new ‘supply’ whilst I was still very ill in hospital after my fall.
Apparently these things are always very slow to move forward, so I’ll just have to be patient.
I’ve been very busy all week continuing my rebuttal of all the lies my ex has given in his defence re: the sale of the house we both jointly own. As I’ve said before, I have so much evidence of the truth, that I find his lies quite pathetic now.
Anyway, moving on from these 2 issues, I am getting on with my life and recovery. I have been hitting the gym really hard and taking any frustrations I have out by exercising them away. Basically, I’ve been using any nervous energy I have as a strength to exercise physically. Whatever you decide to use as ‘your’ weapon, instead of the ‘dagger to your heart’ which your ex constantly stabbed you with over and over again, it really will work! Whatever you choose to do, whether it be a stroll in the woods amongst nature, sketching, painting, knitting, sewing, dancing, singing, reading, starting your own blog or anything else which you find therapeutic, it will make you feel better and stronger mentally and physically. This is because your body’s own chemicals such as dopamine and endorphins will begin to flow through your bloodstream again. You may have forgotten how positive these things used to make you feel because you have been denied them for so long. These are your body’s “feel good” chemicals and they’re there for you and no one else!
When you are finally free of simply having to ‘numb’ your feelings (because you are being tortured on a daily basis) you will feel much better every time you use your chosen things as your own ‘super powers’ in order to find yourself again!
Please don’t think that I say this thinking that it will be an easy step to take, or that you will want to jump up and get on the treadmill or join a salsa dancing class. If you read my past blogs, you will know that it has taken me a long hard 3 years to get to this point. Just before Christmas last year, after more of my narcissistic ex’s persecution, all I wanted to do was die and I tried to commit suicide.
However, by New Year’s Eve I made a promise to myself that 2024 would be the year of ‘me’ taking care of ‘myself’ and put those tortuous feelings aside. I have kept that promise to myself and I now feel stronger, both mentally and physically. Whenever these thoughts come into my head, I push them out of reach and take care of ‘me’ and ‘my’ needs.
Your journey may be long and arduous, but I promise that it will be the best, most rewarding journey you will ever take for yourself. Isn’t that better than living a life of misery with someone who never deserved you in the first place?!!
Each step you take, no matter how small, will bring you such incredible rewards that you will eventually be so proud of yourself that you will realize how insignificant and irrelevant that person was to your life and
you will NEVER want to go back to that living nightmare ever again!
I pray that if you are still living in that nightmare, that you will find a way to escape from their total domination and control over you, so that your healing can start. Believe me that the sooner you do this for yourself, the faster your healing will begin.
After 15 long years of hell, it has taken me 3 years to find myself again and so can you! Life should be happy and fun and ‘emotional vampires’ have no place in it!
As a wise older lady once said to me:
“Love many, marry few, but ALWAYS paddle your own canoe!”
How right she was!
Next post will be published on Saturday 25th May
Drag Me Down Blog 